As mothers, we are all guilty of mother guilt at least once in our lives. Being a single mom is no exception — it can make us feel like we have to do everything ourselves, and there’s so much pressure on us to be perfect. But you don’t have to feel bad about taking care of yourself or asking for help! Here are some tips for managing that guilt so that it doesn’t overwhelm you:
Define Your Ideal Mom
The first step in managing your mom guilt is to define what your ideal motherhood looks like.
There is no right way to be a mother and there’s no one else who can do it better than you. So, if you want to be the kind of mom who gets her kids out at 6 amevery day for a jog on the beach, then go for it! If spending all day baking delicious homemade treats makes you happy, then absolutely bake away! You get the idea: define what works best for your family and stick with that plan as much as possible; try not to compare yourself against other moms either in person or online (though sometimes we just can’t help ourselves).
When I think about my own ideal motherhood scenario, I imagine myself being able to spend more time with my son without feeling guilty about neglecting him or making him feel like his needs come second after work—a tall order because most work days aren’t particularly flexible. He may have trouble understanding why he has playdates instead of spending time at home with me some days or why we don’t go on walks during our lunch break anymore (oh how quickly children grow!), but when he’s older he’ll understand that sometimes sacrifices must be made in order for us both to live our best lives while working full-time jobs.
Give Yourself A Break
…And I’m not talking about just taking time off from parenting to do something for yourself. I’m talking about giving yourself permission to take a break even when you don’t feel like it, or when you know it will make your child sad (and he/she will be).
Yes, giving up some of the responsibility of being a parent is hard at first—but starting that practice now can help prevent later guilt over letting go of parenting responsibilities altogether and slipping into full-on martyrdom mode.
Taking a break from parenting to do something for yourself can help put things into perspective.
It’s important to take a break from parenting sometimes, but it can be difficult when you’re on your own. The following tips will help you find some time for yourself:
- Take a long bath.
- Go for a walk in the park or along the beach.
- Go to the movies alone and watch one of those silly rom-coms that always make you feel better about yourself when you leave the theater (even though you know they’re terrible).
- Get a pedicure—or better yet, get someone else to do it for you in exchange for an hour of babysitting!
- Have dinner with friends at one of your favorite restaurants; just keep in mind that if this person has kids too young to be left home alone, they may not want their children present during their conversations with other adults (in which case it might not be appropriate for them to sit at the same table as everyone else).
If all else fails, give yourself permission to put yourself first once in awhile by surrounding yourself with people who care about what happens next—whether they’re family members or close friends—and learn how much support is available through community resources like churches and social clubs so that if your child ever needs something outside help while he’s away from his motherly influence, he’ll have access
Conclusion
In the end, you are not alone. As a single mother, you have gone through so much to be able to be here for your child. You deserve to take time for yourself and enjoy life! There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that fact. You are doing an amazing job as a mom.
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